Twas the Night After Christmas

...and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even my mouse.

Ok so that's not strictly true.

There's the doggie, who's snoring like a adorable adenoidal piglet under my desk. (Moments ago she was gnawping on a huge Jumbone in her basket and was so joyful she forgot to pull her legs in after her...) And then there's the cat, who's walping up and down the hallways looking for Hattie, because Hatbox has shut the front room door to keep the heat in while she watches "Memoirs of a Geisha" for the 50th time this week. And Tedbox is not exactly stirring, but while his body is immobile he's thumbing his Nintendo DS frenetically playing the Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga game I bought him. I can't see his facial expression because his hair is so long now it hangs down to his chest. So effectively when he leans forward he's playing DS in a little tee pee of his own hair.

And me, what am I doing apart from finally blogging again? Pondering the Christmas season? Looking forward to the year ahead? Well, I might get into New Year's resolutions some time later on like on the 1st or 2nd, but not today. Still thinking about them. What I am doing is enjoying a well earned rest.

Christmas was kind of weird but very successful depending on your criteria; If by successful you mean it turned out okay, everyone got what they wanted, and we spent quality time with those we love, and Hattie baked a huge cake then yeah. If you mean nothing went wrong then hell unicycling no!

Turning up to Bristol Airport in the middle of the night on the 21st we found out Mia's flight to Finland was canceled. So after no sleep and as a kind of huge last minute pressie to my baby doll I agreed to drive her to Heathrow to get a direct flight. See? Commuting every day has its advantages. A trip to Heathrow feels like nothing to me, even though it is enormously exhausting and draining. Two and a half hours each way in the car? After an unexpected £50 parking bill in Bristol? Mere bagatelle. How far am I prepared to go to make sure Mia gets to spend Christmas comfortable in the bosom of her family? The answer is THAT far. Bring it on. I love making things happen against the odds. I live for that stuff. Oh and the really good news was she was so full-on nice to the clerk despite being last in the huge line she got bumped up to first class. Sweet as.

Driving home I was surprisingly awake. At Fleet services I fell asleep for a second while eating my burger, and for a while there when I woke up I had no clue where I was. I was sitting in a lounge with loads of other people watching a big TV which was saying that Tony Blair has converted to Catholicism. It took me a few minutes to realise where I was or how I got there, but I did think for a fleeting moment that it was a dream. A fleeting moment at Fleet. Mwah.

Got home. As soon as I walked in and called out to the kids I knew something was very wrong. Why was the house so cold? Walking around it became obvious the heating was off. Kids huddled in their rooms playing video games didn't notice. Turns out that 500 litres of oil is only enough for two months worth of heat if you are not really frugal with it... So there really IS no such thing as a free lunch, go figure. Called around. No deliveries till 27th now, as heating firms all gone home for the season.

Heated the house all Christmas with just a radiator in the bedroom, the electric fire in the front room and a fan heater in the kitchen. A pits end to a pits year you might say. Fortunately it was a pretty mild week so not too cold, but always a little edge of chill nibbling at your bones through any amount of cloth, except in the rooms with heat where it was mostly too sweatily hot to wear a dressing gown. Temperature differences whacking up and down for a few days mean I now have a terrible cold... So yeah, it was "a challenge", in the way actors say that on DVD extras when asked how was it swimming through a flooded kitchen set without air time after time to get through a hole two feet wide...

We got through though. I had to haul the table into the kitchen from the conservatory for us to have Christmas dinner because it was too cold out there and we had the kitchen heated up. Turned out okay. Dinner was sensational, despite me spending 3 hours prepping and cooking, it was over in about 45 minutes. We had three bird roast, reduced in ASDA from £20 to £6.50 because I didn't buy it till the day before Christmas Eve.

Christmas was fun in the end. And then we had a few days of quiet contemplation. The kids had something to do, I had lots of The Two Ronnies to watch, and fell in love with Tina Charles, you know, "I Love to Love", all over again. (He he.) ITV3 was running pretty much every season of Ronnies all through the week so it was like having warm comedy cocoa on tap all week. I drank deep from that well, my friends.

When the oil was finally delivered on the 27th I marked the level. Next day when Matt Kelland came around it had plummeted from about midway up the tank to about 5 inches from the bottom. Panicked and called the landlord telling him we had a leak. Didn't realise the tank was so huge, I thought 500 litres was a lot, but turns out the big old tank holds a good 2500 litres. Dammit. So there was air in the tube making it seem like there was more in it than I thought. That level would have been about 1200 litres. Bollicks.

So here I am listening to Timbuk3 with the heating finally back on and the electric heaters and their nasty dry uncontrollable heat finally silent. The presents have been given and received, and received well. I got a lot of very nice gifts. An FM transmitter from Ted which connects to an iPod or other music device and plays it into any nearby FM radio. Genius. Hattie got me a ring, which I haven't worn since Christmas day because my fingers are swollen, but it's lovely basic pinky ring which will make me look very sophisticated. Mia got me some Cefiro Eau de Toilette which I actually gasped at when I unwrapped it. I was so jazzed about getting it as I LOVE their perfume. Floris are a wonderful company based in Jermyn Street in London and of course were suppliers of Ian Fleming's favourite scents. She made me two ceramic angels which are temporarily sitting on top of my bookcase. She also got me the QI book "The Book of General Ignorance" and "Do Ants have Arseholes?" by the surviving authors of "the Meaning of Liff". I loved all my presents and I can't remember a year when I've ended it feeling so blessed. Not that it started that way...

Not to rehash the whole year, but in short 2007 was both a terrible and terrific year. I learned a lot about myself and what I want from my life, what remains of it. I was more broke than I've ever been in my life, as well as more desperate, more tired, more aimless, more hopeless and more depressed.

BUT... (and as you will notice that is a big but)

I've also had some of my hardest won and most gratifying personal successes. I got my writing career back for most of the year, which was without question no kidding the joy of the year. I started taking pictures again after my mother fronted me the money to get a new camera. I started to dream again, to fall in love with the possibilities of my future life, with Mia and with my kids. I thought I'd lost all hope but I found it again.

I thought I was useless and unemployable. Being good at writing again got me through it. I realized that not only can I still write but I am also DAMN good at it when I try, and on a good day I'm one of the best there is. It's true. I also met some really fine people and made some really cool art of one kind or another. I'm embarking on a new movie blog/podcast/ebook venture with Matt Kelland, which if I play my cards right might be a new job along with photography and other blogging. Fingers crossed.

Most importantly and I can't believe it myself, I survived the year to write this blog, for which I have to thank the lord, my friends and family and my lucky stars. Thanks to Matt and Ali Kelland, John McNulty and John Molloy for being my constant IM companions down the year. It's like having the smartest people on the planet as your own personal sounding board. Thanks to Brent for some really amazing podcasts.

Thanks to My Mum, Sheena Leigh Ross, for her enormous support during this very difficult year; David McCandless for providing good quality work (including being a contributor to the FAB book you can see to the right here) and huge amounts patient and unpaid time lavishing encouragement, support and succor to a broken, battle-scarred old warhorse who thought he was done; Sheree Burgess for being my big sister and helping me to find my courage when it repeatedly failed me; to John McNulty for work, companionship and support through this long dark teatime of the soul, and finally and most importantly the love of my life Mia, my darling minky, for staying with me through the hardest year of my life and helping me to stay focussed on what's important. Thanks baby, if I didn't love you already I'd love you just for that. Here's to next year bringing you everything you want in life. x

New Year's resolutions next time, but have a great New Year everyone. Meantime, keep smiling through. (as usual you can click on all the pics to get bigger versions.)

Lots o love,

Phil